The Year of the Cat

I am returning back to the world of blogging, along with returning to my journey to good health.  2012 was a silent hidden year for the most part leaving those that have followed me to wonder where I disappeared to.  I think 2012 was just full of too much of everything, leaving me to be second and struggling with my journey to self improvement.  Reflecting back on my year, I would say, my self preservation was a wash!  I  pushed away the things that  I was proud to talk about within my pages.  And here I sit in 2013, thanking God for where I am today, and for letting me survive my neglect.  I'll be honest, I haven't weighed myself this year at all, I do know I am fitting in a size 14 stretch jean, and that I go nowhere without my Kimora tummy tucker.  I have taken note to the clothes that I bought after my great success with The Biggest Loser Resort, and how they sit dorment in my closet. I look at myself in the mirror and think I am not that much bigger than when I left BLR, but much bigger than my success with Cinch.  I note that my body is something I avoid in the mirror after a shower, it is a reminder of my lag.  2012 is finally over, and a new year is here.

The struggles of 2012 are behind me, and have left some great remnants to rejoice in.  My daughter Marie found true love in February, and moved away in July to be with her one true love.  This is a joyous absolutely wonderful thing, and I couldn't be happier for her although I wish she found her love in NJ.  The greatest joy came on August 9, 2012 with the birth of my grand daughter Biba Harlow May.  I can not express what this has meant to me this year and the joy she continues to bring.  You grand parents understand.

2012 brought a lot of change, as my husband stepped down from his TV stage to pursue his own band, as well as focusing on giving back to the Arts through teaching aspiring future musicians around the globe.  This is a scary transition that has been terrifying to our bank account.  Stress is a scary destructive anomaly.

We lost our golden retriever in 2012, and with all the changes accuring it was not only stressful on me, but my family.  My youngest daughter, Morgan took Alan's job change terribly, and worse was losing her best friend, our golden, Rembrandt, her companion, and confident for 14 years.  At 23, in 2012, Morgan also had her gall bladder removed, then followed it up with emergency surgery for a cyst.  And then received an overdose of medication from the hospital, which was swept under the rug.  She has pushed through and is doing well now.

My brother was admitted in the hospital with an aneurism as well, which I flew to his side to be with him. It is impossible to operate on my brother so he must control his stress as well as take blood thinners forever.  He is uninsured and never married, so his family is all he has and here I am across the country feeling helpless most of the time.

I have always been in the habit of self indulgence when I am stressed. And I found myself not caring about putting the wrong things in my mouth, and exercise was rarely achieved.  In August, I took a wonderful hike with Alan & Morgan in PA at Bushkill Falls.  It should've been the start of my recovery, but instead I hurt my knee and had to climb 1200 steps with it hurting.  Unfortunately, this time it caused sciatica damage.  I did very little exercise anyway so I didn't even really notice I had a problem till November.

November was a month of reckless endangerment to myself.  I had decided to take HCG and melt the pounds away.  So I took drops, and surely 10 pounds came off rather quickly.  I started noticing major tingling in my right leg and foot which seemed to come from my sciatica pain.  I would stretch the leg to try and eleviate the pain, and the more I did it, the more my leg and foot seemed to tingle.  I finally googled  and discovered a side effect of HCG was blod clots and everything that goes with it.  I was in the ER that night having CT work done and insuring that I didn't have a clot in my leg or brain.  I was sent home with anti-inflammatories and pain killers.  At that point I realized what an idiot I was to take the HCG in the first place and got off of it.  I followed the weaning process as necessary to reset your body clock, but it didn't work.  Even after 3 weeks of no carbs at all I seemed to continue to gain weight.  I had added insult to injury by even beginning the HCG.  Now I had to try and get back to some normalcy.

December I went to babysit my grand daughter, or as I like to call it Biba-sit.  I came home with a nasty flu that Biba and her daddy brought home from a trip to England.  I went from the flu, to a cold, to laryngitis for the next few weeks.  From there I had to shop for 15 people coming for Christmas and try and get my house in order for 8 extra people sleeping at the house for 10 days.  I had decided to avoid carbs during this hectic time and although I didn't weigh myself, I at least didn't feel that sluggish holiday feeling I usually have.  Family arrived on December 23, Christmas day was awesome, 15 family members together, including the brand new grand baby!  At 5AM following Christmas, my husband woke up sick, and was vomiting.  Shortly after that I found myself doing the same thing.  I spent the next 36 hours with a bucket on my toilet.  We managed to get food poisoning on Christmas Eve from clams, which I noticed tasted funny.  Everyone else was fine as we were the only ones to have a clam at dinner.  The following day, my brother in law came down with a flu and 104 fever.  Not long after that I was sick again with another strain of the flu, along with my parents.  I spent New Years Eve in bed, sick!

So all I can say about 2012 is good riddance to most of it!  Thank God the 2 blessings we did have in 2012.  By the way....I am extremely grateful for all I have and have received, and am very blessed,  this is just simply my explanation to where I was in 2012 and nothing more.

So WELCOME 2013, I am super to the duper excited about you being here, and getting back on track is my main priority.  I realized, that being honest with myself, was also being honest on my blog.  Putting it out there, what was going on, how I was doing, and what I was doing.  So I am back, and I am ready to tackle all of my weaknesses and strengths and get where I want to be in 2013.  When I started my original blog http://countdowntobiggestloserresort.blogspot.com/ back this month in 2010 I had no idea where it would take me.  Since then I have become a strong empowered woman who understands she can do whatever she sets her mind to, so here's to me in 2013, as I have my sights set on good health!

Thanks to all of you out there that have come to know me over the years, for reading my confessions, and as always I appreciate your comments and your support.