Sunday, February 16, 2014

Cat Litter Ephiphany

First off, I would like to say WOW...7 months have now passed since I wrote on my blog...maybe its the YOYO of my life and not wanting to write about it.  Reading how I climbed up the scale ladder...then came down...yada yada a nutshell...I can reflect on those months by like in July, I did not like how I looked for Alan's birthday...check, I must have been up on my weight...September, went away to Florida for my birthday...again weight was up...Halloween, I remember squeezing into my costume...oh weight was up then too....I had spent the time between my birthday in September and late October trying something new, but it failed me, I wasn't losing weight although I was definitely on a decent regimen. But I wasn't stopping I had a wedding coming up on New Years, and I was the mother of the bride!  I went back to Cinch, now called S.A.S.S. and lo' and behold I lost just enough weight to feel good at my daughters wedding.  But being honest with myself, I pledged wearing a sleeveless dress to her wedding, back in February of last year, and although I did wear a sleeveless dress, I sported a small jacket hiding my unsightly arms.  As soon as the wedding was over, I enjoyed my food as we spent another week in Florida.  It was vacation, and I was now going to enjoy what I ate!....and there being the story of my life....rewarding myself after the fact...but was I rewarding myself or actually punishing myself?  Afterall, the day was going to come where I hopped back on my scale...heck I didn't even need to do that, my clothes said it did my mirrors.  When the day came I let my feet touch the cold glass top of my scale, I weighed in at 188.  A whopping 9 pounds up from the wedding day! I ever going to learn?  Seriously?  What is it going to take?  I am not getting any younger!  If I haven't figured it out in the 54 years I have been on this earth, was I really ever going to get it?  And now at my ripe age of 54, I have major feet problems, so exercise is painful at this point.  So what now?  What to do?  Where to head...what direction.....awwww...then it hit me!

I call this my kitty litter epiphany!  This bag of litter is so extremely heavy, and although I can lift two 20lb weights at the same time, I really didn't expect this to be such a heavy bag.  From getting it into my cart, into my car, then into my was awkward and heavy.  In fact, I asked my husband to get it out of my car and to the cats room.  He actually was shocked at how heavy the bag was.  Yes, and when I thought of this bag I started thinking about that extra weight on my body, which is totally there!  And then my feet, which remain a major issue starts coming to light.  Okay, so I am wearing orthotics, but still my feet are in pain.  Still I have pains when I exercise, how am I suppose to heal?  How am I suppose to get healthy?  Every single day, that bag comes to my mind.  It is what I wear on my body.  God knows my feet will start feeling somewhat better if I am not carrying that extra weight!  

That epiphany came to me 2 weeks ago, which is when I decided it was time to embrace my weight and figure out how to solve my issues forever!  I can not do the YOYO anymore!  I can not think a reward is stuffing my face with a days supply of calories in a single meal!  And then, my wise daughter is shrieking in my head...."mom stop counting calories!". Hmmm...I don't get it?  How????????  Then it comes to me, I have spent 54 years on this earth, yet doctors and scientist continually change the way we think about eating. Hopefully you know, its not FAT that will kill you its SUGAR.  Worrying about your cholesterol?  Stop the sugars, eat the fats.....well if that doesn't raise questions for you...or this one...the food pyramid is all wrong!
So about 2 weeks ago, I started the no calorie counting lifestyle.  I no longer care at all how many calories I am eating, but instead what I am eating.  I have chosen to avoid carbs after 2PM for at least 5 days a week.  I eat whatever I want 1 day a week, meaning, I will go to dinner and have carbs, even a dessert, just not a full size dessert, maybe 1/2 of one.  Or I will drink one night a week, vodka, club soda and a splash of cranberry is my drink of choice.  I have been actually planning new carb free meals for me for dinner time, and have been sharing it with the family.  Leftovers however, are for me, packed away in my freezer for days I have no time.  I have made amazing meals, like cauliflower pizza crust pizzas, broccoli cheese soup, zucchini lasagna, and just last night I made white bean and cauliflower mash potatoes with a carb free meatloaf, subbing the bread crumbs with carrots, mushrooms and zucchini and my gravy was bouillon cubes and arrowroot to thicken.  I'm no longer on a diet, because the meals I am making are better than the ones I was eating, and they are great for me!  I finally get it.   

Before 2PM, I reach for a lot of fats, almonds, walnuts, sunflower seeds (in low sodium shells), olives, dark chocolate with a touch of peanut butter is a yummy, mind you they are great evening foods too!  I am not one to want to cook a lot so I reach for 
yogurt and throw a tablespoon of chia seeds in it for fiber.  I have cheese here and there as well...but I don't count calories at all. Smoothies, eggs, and pretty much anything I want, that is NOT processed of course. I am finally on track eating to have a fitter tomorrow, one that makes my feet happy and gets the kitty litter off!  Yes this is my goal.  Today I type you after a 6 pound weight loss since I started this way.  I feel good, I am not deprived, and its working.  Yes no more counting calories, I can do this!

I pledge to share recipes and keep posting my success, because I really do see a skinny me with happy feet in my future.  I am never dieting again, I am living!